I admit it
I'm not a great driver
But I'm not as bad as you are
Learn to use a blinker
And get off your stupid phone
And maybe learn to turn on your headlights
And get the massive gouge taken out of your left tail light fixed
Because, guess what
Your previous mistakes
Don't signal to me that you're stopping
Or taking a left
Or doing anything other than being an irresponsible driver
Because, someday, I'm going to dissociate behind the wheel
And while muscle memory takes me home
You're going to run a red light
And destroy the driver's side of my Subaru
And, honestly, at that point, I won't mind
I'm suicidal
I'm ready to face god
Because, at the very least
I didn't drive like an asshole
And I think I get some points for that
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