Sad Sad Brain Zone

I haven't had motivation to write

Or read

Or clean

Or get out of bed

I sound like a commercial for antidepressants

All of the symptoms are there

And the pills help as much as they can

I'm tired of being alone

I'm tired of being afraid

And of going to work

And cleaning up other people's messes

As if that should be my problem

And so yesterday I sat on my porch

I called my parents

I stayed up until 4am laughing

And drinking

And chatting with friends

And I woke up hungover

And ate some cereal

And relaxed in bed

I swore to myself I'd get a little better

But it can wait until tomorrow

Because today I'm sleeping in

And dreaming of when I'll see you again

With the music loud and the lights low

Green glow

Warm weather

I'm still figuring out how to be myself again

After pretending to be happy

And neurotypical

And boring

For so dang long

Let the pain out

Be better

But not today

I need to nap