I haven't felt like this since I was in high school
With a mad crush on someone who said that they would never date again
And the world seemed to spin a little faster
That first time in the basement
Listening to music with my eyes closed
I know it's unlikely
If not impossible
But I enjoy the suffering
The pining
Even the loneliness is welcome
Because at least life isn't dragging on
I'm not constantly dreading the conversation
"Please, don't wear that"
"Your favorite thing makes me uncomfortable"
"No, I forgot. I can't go tonight."
It's not slow conversations building up to something inevitably mediocre
It's risky
It's scary
And when I close my eyes
I'm listening to local bands in a basement
And I can glance across the room
And know I probably don't have a shot
And if it fails it might destroy me
Just like the first time
But you're still there
I can dance by myself and flash you a smile
And trip over my own feet
As the music gets faster
And maybe, just maybe
You'll catch me when I trip and fall
And it might not be so bad
To run to catch up with you
And hope I'm fast enough
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