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Writer's pictureSarah Lynch

Dream Interpretation

I've had some pretty intense nightmares for a few years

Most of them revolve around being unable to escape something that wants to hurt me

Or being back in high school with the people that did hurt me

Blocking out the trauma so I could face the day

Over and over and over again

For so many years

Sometimes it's those people coming to take away my sources of comfort

I had a nightmare where my ex murdered my pet

Just for the purpose of hurting me more than they already did


Last night wasn't a nightmare, though

I was in my parent's basement

With a significant other that loved me

Watching scary movies

And listening to records

And just being with someone who understood why that space is so important to me

Why sitting and enjoying music is so key to understanding what's going on inside my fucked up head

And nobody came and tried to take what mattered away from me

Nobody could hurt me there


I'm so tired of running

And settling for less

And dealing with people who don't even bother to try and understand

That it's really hard for me to stop being afraid

That I expect to be thrown back into another nightmare

That I will medicate with alcohol and music and hopeless romantic fantasies

Along with a mountain of antidepressants that I don't think I will ever stop taking

Just to get by

Just to survive the night


I wonder if my dreams are even worth understanding for someone else

So they can become some part of my reality

Or if I'll always be running from nightmares on my own

Fighting for rest


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